“The Worst IT Company You’ll Ever Love to Depend On”

Welcome to CybreTooth IT — the IT company that refuses to play by the rules. We don’t do “standard.” We don’t do “good enough.” And we definitely don’t do “basic support tiers.” Why? Because we believe every business deserves platinum-level service, even if you’re just emailing us to ask how to reset your password (again).

We’re the kind of IT company that shows up early, stays late, and still checks your logs at midnight — not because we’re nosy (okay, maybe a little), but because we care. We’re not here to sell you fluff. We’re here to make sure your tech works, your data’s safe, and your stress levels stay below “throw the laptop out the window.”

🏆 No Tiers. No Tears. Just Platinum.

We don’t believe in Bronze, Silver, or Gold packages. That’s for gym memberships and fantasy RPGs. At CybreTooth, every client is platinum — whether you’re a one-person startup or a multi-location enterprise with a coffee addiction and a printer that only jams during board meetings.

You get our best, every time. No upsells. No “premium support” nonsense. Just the same white-glove, red-carpet, gold-star service we’d give our own grandmothers (and we love our grandmothers). Because when it comes to your business, “just okay” is never okay.

🔐 Cybersecurity: Our Love Language

We’re not just into cybersecurity — we’re in a long-term, monogamous relationship with it. We whisper sweet nothings to our firewalls. We send love letters to our intrusion detection systems. We’ve got more layers than a paranoid onion, and we’re proud of it.

Yes, sometimes security is a little painful. Like when we make you use a 16-character password with uppercase, lowercase, numbers, symbols, and a haiku. But you know what’s more painful? Ransomware. We’d rather you grumble about MFA than cry over encrypted files and Bitcoin demands. Security isn’t always convenient, but it’s always worth it.

💾 Backups on Backups on Backups

We care more about your data than you do. Seriously. We’ve got backups of your backups, stored in encrypted vaults, mirrored across time zones, and possibly backed up to a satellite orbiting the moon. If your server catches fire, gets hit by a meteor, or is eaten by a digital kraken — we’ve got you.

And we don’t just back up your data — we test those backups like our lives depend on them. Because they kind of do. We’ve seen too many horror stories that start with “we thought i.t was backing up…” and end with “...and now we sell candles.”

🧠 Support That Doesn’t Make You Cry

No robots. No “press 7 to scream into the void.” Just real humans who speak fluent tech and fluent human. We don’t just fix problems — we explain them in plain English, offer snacks (virtually), and make sure you feel like the genius you are for calling us.

We believe tech support should feel like a warm hug, not a cold sweat. Whether it’s a printer rebellion, a Wi-Fi ghost, or a laptop that’s “just being weird,” we’re here to help — with empathy, humor, and maybe a few memes.

🧰 Tools So Good, They Should Be Illegal

We don’t just install software. We deploy digital ecosystems. We don’t just secure your network. We build Fort Knox with Wi-Fi. We don’t just monitor your systems. We babysit them like overprotective IT parents who text every 5 minutes to make sure everything’s okay.

Our toolkit is packed with the best, most reliable, most battle-tested tech out there. And if something better comes along, we test it, break it, fix it, and then maybe — just maybe — recommend it. Because your infrastructure deserves nothing less than elite.

🧙‍♂️ We’re Basically Wizards

We’ve been known to resurrect dead hard drives, tame rogue routers, and banish malware with a flick of the wrist. Our team includes certified tech whisperers, cable wranglers, and one guy who swears he can hear Wi-Fi.

We don’t wear robes (usually), but we do perform miracles. If your tech is haunted, cursed, or just plain confusing, we’ll figure it out. And we’ll do it with a smile, a spellbook, and a backup plan.

🧭 Vendor-Neutral and Proud of It

We don’t play favorites — unless it’s you. At CybreTooth, we’re proudly vendor-neutral. That means we won’t push a product just because it’s trendy, shiny, or came with a free lunch. We recommend what’s best for your business, not what’s best for our commission (because we don’t take any).

Whether it’s Microsoft, Ubiquiti, or a toaster with Wi-Fi, if it works for you, it works for us. We’re here to build solutions that fit your needs — not someone else’s sales quota.

🤝 No Trash Talk, Just Tech Talk

We don’t believe in throwing shade at other IT companies. There’s enough malware in the world — we don’t need to add bad vibes. If you’ve worked with another provider, great! We’ll pick up where they left off, no judgment, no snark.

Unless they installed a printer on the roof. Then we might raise an eyebrow. But we’ll still fix it. Because we’re professionals. (Mostly.)

🧾 Our Manifesto (Because Every Great Cult—uh, Company—Has One)

• Every client is platinum. No exceptions.

• If it’s not secure, it doesn’t exist.

• Backups are sacred. Like, Indiana Jones sacred.

• We don’t sleep until your systems do.

• We take your tech seriously — but never ourselves.

• Vendor loyalty is earned, not assumed.

• If it’s not documented, it didn’t happen. If it is, we backed it up.

• We don’t trash talk. We troubleshoot.

• Security might be annoying, but ransomware is worse.

• We’re not perfect — but our uptime is pretty close.